Biggest Critic

Tonight was awful.  I'm so happy to have a day off tomorrow because I'm in just a... depressed mood about myself.  I'm my biggest critic in anything.  If I say or do something that I later realize was the slightest error, I will replay it over and over in my head.  I guess it's kind of a punishment.  I can't ever let anything go, even if it's all fixed and no harm, no foul.

Tonight I worked the troubleshoot queue.  A prescription came up that said someone in the pharmacy had called the doctor to alert them of a prior authorization.  Okey doke.

I noticed in the rejection that the insurance would pay for #10 in a 30 day fill.  Ah, the prior authorization must have gone through!  At least they'll cover #10...  *checks prescription*  Doctor had written for #90?!  That must be a typo...  *fix to #10 and fill!*

It gets filled.  The floater pharmacist verifies and bags it.  The patient picks it up and I tell them what the insurance will cover.  They say that it's supposed to be a maintenance drug, but whatever.  They are pleased with a $0 copay and leave.  If that's what insurance will cover, then so be it.

Later on I ask the stable pharmacist about the quantity and dosage and am told that we were waiting on the prior authorization because it is for maintenance.  That low dosage is to keep it in their system at all times.

I feel guilty.  I feel upset.  I feel stupid.  I feel like I've let down my pharmacist, the one who depends on me to make their job easier.  I've just increased their workload ten-fold.  I feel so disappointed.

I call the patient later on when possible and let them know of our mistake.  They understand (patients up here seem to all the time...  it's quite amazing) and say that they will bring it back so we can resubmit the claim to the insurance for #90.

The pharmacy manager comes by to do some shopping and the whole story is relayed to them.  The look of...  well... not surprise, because who could be surprised that it was me who released the prescription?  Disappointment.  Frustration.  Exhaustion.

The patient brought it back and we resubmitted it.  Now we wait for the prior authorization.

I'm never working the troubleshoot queue again.

However, no one else ever does either.  I've never seen other techs working on it.  Prescriptions can be stuck in there for an hour if the pharmacist is too busy before it will show up on their screen again....

Yes.  Tomorrow's day off cannot come soon enough....

Stupid classes and their stupid requirements...

I am so mad right now.  I need to be careful to not write back anything horrendous to the teacher, so therefore, I am going to rant about it instead.

We have internship during the school year.  I am with the health department.  I have been having a great internship in which I'm involved in numerous different sections of the department and get to see lots of ways we help patients.  Awesome.  I'm involved in numerous projects and see different things each week.  Wonderful.

I have been getting 100s on all of my papers in this class.

Well, for this one paper I wrote how I was "bored" because the preceptor left me alone for half an hour (and really for more like 1.5 hours, but I was being nice) and I had nothing to do.  That's because I had finished what they wanted me to do and were elsewhere.  I didn't have my computer to work on anything else.  What am I supposed to do, start roaming around the hallways or look through their desk to find something else?  Umm...  no.

Then we had a class where we talked about cultural competency.  I got a freakin' 60% on this paper.  WTF.

"I am concerned that you were "bored" when your preceptor was not available to you.  Perhaps you need to be a little more assertive in finding things to do or explore.  Have you had an opportunity to be involved in any of the clinics such as STD or immunization clinics?  Your description of Professor ***'s "game" was interesting but [I] would have like[d] to see you explore a bit more of how the concept this [of] game was illustrating may be helpful to you in your practice."

Ok, for one, I have already been a part of the STD and immunization clinics.  Did you NOT read my other papers?  Another, me writing about how that game presented how people have difficulty communicating and how it can lead to stereotyping and racism should have been all I needed to describe what I got out of the lecture.  Being racist and sexist = bad for pharmacy business.  Apparently I have to spell it out and make it idiot-proof.

I really want to write a nasty email to this professor.  I'm not the first person to get a bad review due to "not being involved" and truthfully writing about how I felt.  Others get penalized for writing how they never get any experience with patients, and are told off because "rawr rawr rawr you should be with your patients and be more active in your internship rawr rawr rawr."  Apparently I need to badger my preceptors to get them to have me do stuff, even though there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO.  I just want to point out her poor grammar and thump her on the forehead.  I don't feel that I can say anything though because she will hold a grudge and that will affect my future grades.

We are encouraged to write about our feelings and experiences.  And NOT WRITE ABOUT WHAT WE THINK THE TEACHERS WANT TO HEAR.  I feel as though I have been lied to.

A rose by any other name...

I was working on something arbitrary when I overhear this exchange:

Technician: "Yes ma'am, can I help you?"

Lady: *mumble mumble* "Willow bark."

Technician: "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Lady: *mumble mumble* "I'm looking for willow bark...."

Technician: "Umm...  Ok.  What is their date of birth?"


Funny thing is, you can almost be guaranteed that some child, somewhere, has the name "Willow Bark."